25 november 2013

2013

I think this year has been the most changing and nice year in my life so far. I think I never had a year when I was actually happy all year long. Yes, 3 months in Sweden away from Peter was hard, but also very needed and in the end I can see that it was only good for us. In so many ways. I also had a lot of stress at work, but never in a way that made me sad. Just frustrated. I really got to realise how much my family means to me and I had some moments with my closest friends that really changed my mind. I think this year was that year of relief. I feel relieved. I feel calm. I feel that I'm finally really myself. And I appreciate that and understand that I am good enough. And I'm so damn happy for all the friends that I have today!

I really think that it's true:
I came here to change Cape Town, but Cape Town changed me. 

I have some people back in Sweden that I want to come here. I know it would do good to them, in a lot of ways! This city is really a mind opener. Mostly because it's so ok to be who ever you are and no one is really judging, at all. I think a lot of people back home in Sweden could need to feel that for a while. 

19 november 2013

African time.

Today African Time is stressing me OUT!!!! Gosh. How hard is it to plan, organise and stick with it? Seriously.

It's really nice to not have to stress all the time and that it's ok to be a little late and to be able to let people know last minute that you wont come to the party you are invited to (because I'm actually tired). It's nice to be able to over sleep but still have time to shower and eat breakfast. It's nice to just let things be for a day and you know you can fix it tomorrow.

BUT when it comes to work and professionalism it's really annoying and not helping any business at all! Why is it so hard to organise things here in time, and BEFORE things are about to happen? It's more stressing than to have a lot of planning to do... Because when you have planned it all, you can just let it go and do the next thing. You wont have 1000 things to do at the same time.

Well, I guess I have to get along with it or move back home. And we all know I don't want that ;)

18 november 2013

I'll never let you go



I'm just a little sentimental. Nothing too bad. I just realise that I have something really good. That I really don't wanna lose. Ever.

15 november 2013

Silly me

Ok. Enough. I will stop it now! It's been years. I should have learned by now!

12 november 2013

Family.

I normally don't get home sick. It might sound bad. But it's just something about me, I like to be away from home. Even when I was a kid I loved to go away, sleep over at friends places or at my grandmothers place. Whenever there was soccer camps I was more than happy. Might sound like I wasn't happy at home. It wasn't about that. I just really love the feeling of "being on the road". Like this summer when I walked for days to protest about refugee politics in Sweden. We were like 30 people just walking and sleeping at different places every night. Hanging out, chilling and then you bring out your sleeping bag and sleep where ever there is space. It's a little bit like living in a bubble and escape from reality. No "musts" or real rules. It's freedom for me.

Today tho, I miss home. But it's actually more the people that I miss. I guess it has to do with that Matilda been here and she just left. Someone that really knows me was here. It's really relieving to be able to talk to someone and I just have to say three words and she knows exactly what I'm saying. Also this summer was so great in Sweden. I miss the light summer nights. To be able to walk alone in the middle of the night. To not feel like I have to look over my shoulder all the time.

Today I miss my family a lot. I spent a lot of time with them this summer. More than usually. Guess it's that thing called growing up and appreciate things in another way ;) I miss Othilia, she is getting bigger and bigger and it's a shame I miss out on that. I miss my father and my mother. You know, to just go there, hang out at their place, eat food. Just be myself and no need of talk. Just the feeling of being around people you love.

Last year my father came here for christmas. This year it wont be anyone here. I will trust my other family (all awesome friends here) to take care of me. I hope it wont feel way to bad.

But I think this is just for today. I normally don't get homesick. And it's summer here. Soon real winter in Sweden. So I feel okay. I'm good. Just missing some of the loved ones..











10 november 2013

Not a good day.

Today is not a good day. Matilda left to go back to Sweden.
And....
... I feel fat and unhealthy.

Just a day like that. I will be ok tomorrow.

BUT I should really start to do something about myself. Talking about my health. My weight. My smoking. My bad living. Seriously. I eat and drink too much. Exercise way too little (like NOTHING) and smoke way too much. Problem is. I have nothing that motivates me. I like food. I like my Hunters Dry and I really don't enjoy to exercise. If it's not football. And I really love a cigaret to my wine ;) lol.

WHAT TO DO?

I have no idea. Start with the smoking part maybe? Should I give it a try? Should I? Do I want too? I only know that I SHOULD. Damn it.

Maybe I should start swimming. Summer is here. There is a pool in Observatory. Its 6 rand to get in. SIX.. That's like 4 swedish kronor. Silly cheap.

Well. I'm not starting today. That I know.