Why I think we need the word feminism

A lot of men (and some women) are saying "why can't we just use the word equality or humanism? Feminism has become such a negative word since a lot of women use it as a ALL men are bad. ALL women are victims?"

This is an example why I don't think equality or humanism is enough:

Earlier this year a woman got sentenced for slapping a man in his face. Nothing wrong with that, you think. The things is, before she turned around and slapped him, he pinched her butt. This man was a stranger, he saw the woman in the bar and thought it would be a "fun" way of flirting with her. The woman got chocked and angry, turned around and slapped the man in his face.

The man went to the police and reported her for assault. There was a trial. The woman told her story. Why he slapped him. Self defence, you could call it, right?

The judge thought that a pinch isn't that bad as a slap. The woman got sentenced for this. The man? Nothing!

So. Let's use the words humanism and feminism here. And let me explain why I think humanism is not enough.

Humanism and equality would only see that both of them did wrong. And that is the case, I say too. Both of them were wrong. Even if you got pinched, you should not slap. You should go to the police and report the man for sexual harassment. Now, since she slap him, both of them should be sentenced maybe?

Since the man got NOTHING on this I wanna use feminism here. Because... It's ok in this world to pinch someones but. It's ok to take advantaged of the woman's body. This is what's wrong. The law is not enough, because the judge did not think a pinch was "that bad, he just wanted to flirt with you". We need the word feminism to see the deeper problem in this case. Humanism would not do that. It would only follow the law, that both of them did something against the law.

Sexism is not clear enough in the law system.

And no. I do not think women in general would do the same to a stranger in the bar. hardly no woman. I am pretty sure much more men would just laugh about it and think it's "not that bad, it's just for fun". Because objectifying women's bodies is and has always been ok. Not for everyone. but for too many people. The same with strip clubs and porn. Same thought. "It's not that bad, some of them even like it"

Another example:

In the 60s/70s people in USA were fighting for equal right for black people. It was ok to say it was for black people. No one talked about "people" or "humanism".. At least they talked about it all as one case. It was ok to say there was a group of people that had less rights then others. Blacks had less rights than white.

During apartheid people did not JUST talk about humanism and equality. They actually talked about black and coloured people and their rights in a country ruled by whites.

Why can not 50% of the world be a group seen as a group that actually has less rights than the other 50% That is the truth. And MAYBE not in your country or around your friends or in your village. BUT we need to see the bigger picture. We need to see it as a world wide problem and stand together in the fight for women's rights.

Sexism IS big, and it IS bigger against women then men. And no, we wont stop to fight for men's rights just because we talk about women a lot. BUT, can't we women just be allowed to get a little extra attention since the problems are much bigger around us? In some countries some women get stoned to death because they did something a woman should not do. And yes, it has a little to do with religion, but mostly it's culture and the bad way of seeing women. Not ALL muslims would stone a woman to death, right? One thing is for sure. NO man at all would be stoned to death for the same crime as the women..

This is why we need feminism. We need to see the problem as a problem against women. Because it does exist! And we will continue work for men's problem ALSO. One thing does not exclude the other! During apartheid, did they just STOP talking about all other problems? Would they not call the police if a white man was shot? Yes they would. They would work on both sides. BUT the problem against black and coloured was a LITTLE bit bigger at the moment..

No real feminist thinks ALL men are rapists. Thats bullshit. If anyone says that, just do not listen! Do not let the crazy people take over the word that we need. That's the same thought as some people has in Sweden. Just let the racist go on, ignore them, they talk bullshit. Let them think that we can not take more immigrants, let them say we can not allow mosques in our country, because all muslims are bad people. NO, we have to stand up against it and keep on fighting. Not give up and let them be right.

But we need you men on our side in this, to make more people see what feminism is about. (sadly we need that help, yes, to open up some peoples eyes). What we do not need is men, that are actually great people, to turn the back and say "feminists are crazy, they have been taking it too far". That will never help. At all.

So. There you go. If you do not agree, please tell me why, I am always open for a discussion.

I have no words for how people voted in the EU election. I'm just sad. And ashamed.

Respect

I had so much in my head last night that I wanted to write about. But I was too tired. Now most of it is gone. This is my problem, this is why I sometimes bomb people with text messages when I feel something, when I wanna say something, because I forget. I want it to be told so I just HAVE to do it at the moment it comes to my mind.

The basic is. I have so much respect for a lot of my closest friends here. And Peter is one of them. I respect his thoughts, his view of life, his way of respecting himself and his principles. He is probably the most open minded guy I have ever met. And with me, I think I'm also very open minded and have a big passion for politics, feminism, refugee rights, being against child abuse etc, you kind of have to be that person to handle to have me around. Haha, I don't know how many times I been on "fire" because of talking about feminism, hitting children, refugees rights and much other things. To able to actually talk about these things and be respected for it... It means a lot. I respect people that respect me. Might sound easy but seriously, I met a lot of people that couldn't handle me being like this. You know, a girlfriend "should" be nice, quiet, sweet, understanding, caring and loving. Not questioning, annoying, loud etc... :)

I also respect him for wanting to learn new things. To change without changing who you are is a very important thing if you wanna be in a relationship at all. I learned a lot the last 10 years. About me and my behaviours. I learned to respect myself but also to respect that everyone is not like me. To compromise is very important to keep people in your life, I learned. I am still learning though, and Peter has changed me a lot. I learned to trust so much more. I learned to breathe, to not freak out about everything and to TALK about things. Talk talk talk talk. It sounds so simple, but it isn't always that easy. Especially when I have to do it in another language than my own language. Thanks to text messages I say, it works out better. I can write it down, slow and think about it, instead of trying to find words and phrases in the moment I am upset. Peter also learned me to be patience. To give it time to think about it and let things sink in first, before I react too much. Rationality is a bigger part of my emotional life now than ever before.

I blame the south european temper I have in my blood for my irrationality, haha!

I also know I taught Peter a lot when it comes to a lot of things. But that's not my thing to tell you about.

OK, I'm not sure what I wanted with this blog post. But there you go.

We will see..

I have an idea in my head. Something I wanna write about. I wanna write about how my love for P is based on so much respect and it has been from the beginning. I have the words in my head, in swedish. I just have to try to write it down in english. We will see..

If not. You can always ask me when you see me next time and I will try to explain.

I simply just respect so much about him.

And I know you know that I have been a little sad because of me and P the last weeks. BUT every relationship has its ups and downs. I just chose to write about it in public sometimes, when most people would not. I never been scared about letting other people know I'm sad. I just always been bad at telling. So writing it down here or on facebook or wherever does actually help me in the progress of trying to sort things out. And it may sound more dramatic than it is. It's up to you to read it however you want to, but if you actually did care, you would have asked me how I am a long time ago anyway...


Yeah, I will definitely write something tomorrow again. About a lot of things. Got many ideas now..

Good night.

The feminist is awake

I get so tired of the discussion about strip clubs. "Some girls actually WANT to strip, they think it's fun. Everyone is not a drug addict or poor and MUST strip. For some it's a choice "

It is NOT the problem dear little manly man. The problem is that we live in a world where women are supposed to entertain men, preferably as undressed as possible. The problem is that there even ARE strip clubs. If someone likes to undress in front of strangers, that person may do so at their free time. It should NOT be a profession. The majority of those who work at a strip club doing it because they have no other choice at the moment. Because it gives money. How many men would do the same to put food on the table? Probably not many. There you have the problem. Society has decided that it's a little more ok to do some uncomfortable things for money, if you are a woman. I wanna vomit on so many men around me that still, 2014, can not see that this is wrong.

Do not go to strip clubs. Do not support anything like that. You might as well buy sex from a prostitute in this case, with the "I just want to be nice so she can earn money and eat food for the day". You know what? If that's WHY you go to a strip club you may as well just wait until they finished their shift and then just give the girl some money?

And no. It's not a big difference between prostitution and strip clubs.

Why is it so hard to understand this?

It's not fucking fare

I'm tired of it actually, and that's not a good thing.

I start to think. REALLY!?

Ok, the thing is, life is good, I'm happy in a lot of ways, and a part of this is good for me. I start to realise what I've been missing out on. And THAT I'm gonna change now. Bring back old friends in my life, and not gonna take people for granted.

But. The BUT is; I can do both parts. And that's what I wanna scream out.. PEOPLE can change. In a good way. Start to fucking believe in people, and maybe in yourself too!?

BAH!

Tomorrow is gonna be a better day!

Needed

I have not used my blog for writing about me and my feelings in a long time. It has not been needed. Because, I only need to write when something is wrong. And my life has been good, happy and giving for a long time. But, there will always come hard times, every now and then. Now is one of them. Hard times. Complicated times. Worried times.

I still don't wanna write too much. My integrity has grown more important to me. And the integrity of my closest too.

This thing called relationship. It's not easy. Everyone knows that. It isn't. There isn't a thing called "if you are right for each other then there should not be any problems"
How come, that if you have a friend it's ok to be angry, irritated and annoyed with her/him. But if it's your boyfriend you freak out as soon as that happens. Then you have to step out, push away and break up. Why is that not fixable as easy as a friendship?

I believe in progress. Small steps. Learning from each other. Get to know weaknesses and strong sides of each other. And, sometimes you take steps back again, but you will fall and stand up again and try fix things. Together. If you love someone, you do not give up. Maybe, if you wanna give up, you don't love him/her anymore? If it's not worth some sacrifices, yeah, well, then I do not believe it's love.

Or, maybe people are scared, just scared as hell to take that next step, and they get blind, and leave people behind that they should not. That they will regret leaving behind? Just because they were scared.

I say; Scary shit!

To figure this out, TALK. Always talk to each other. Do not close the other person out. Anything you need to say, say it. Then discuss. Listen. Talk again. Things are very rarely solved after ONE of these talks. It takes time, progress, small steps. Learning from each other.