Five steps back

You know when you feel like you are progressing. You are moving forward. It all feels a little bit easier and better. The days are a bit lighter. Life feels a bit more happy again.

Then.... Then some shit happens and you are taking five steps back and it's all a fucking mess again. Your head can only think about one thing, your tears are coming way too easy again, the nights are full of shitty dreams and you lost your apetite and you don't feel like you can laugh.

I am very very TIRED of this.
I have never, ever, before experienced anything like this. I have been dealing with some shit before. But this is different. I am sad. Truly sad.

It's tiring. I am tired.