This is the year

Just had a meeting with my boss and this year is gonna be exciting. A LOT of work, but VERY exciting. I am ready to put a lot of time of my days to do this for real. And I feel so glad that I'm appreciated for what I do.

For the first time in my life I feel a little bit homesick. Never had that before. But I think it's because I never been away this long before and I miss my friends and family a lot. Mostly I miss my closest girl friends. I miss to TALK about stuff with people that knows me for real. To talk about stuff without explaining why I'm feeling like I do. My close friends knows exactly. And yes, I am a little bit fucked up when it comes to some stuff and it takes a long time to understand those things about me.

So, Matilda, Malin, Dina, Sandra, Madde, Elin and more of you people, get ready to TALK a lot when I'm home in June.

It's also this thing about being in a relationship. I admit it, I'm not good at it. At all. I get so damn paranoid all the time. It's a weakness in me. I always feel scared to fuck things up or to get fucked up. Right now I'm at the moment of a relationship when it starts to feel "too" serious that I'm ready to run away and just let it go. Cause, the longer it goes, the more it will hurt if it gets fucked up. So I'm looking for wrongs and other things to tell me "leave"...

Yepp, I'm a weirdo. But what to do. I like him. A lot. In my head "too much" ...

Hanna left this week. I miss her like crazy.
She is the first person here that was getting close to be a real friend.
(except Gee of course, she is always here for me)
And she still is gonna be, but yeah, I want her here!