Is your IQ higher than your neighbours and is it very much higher than mine?

It's 14 months since I came home from Switzerland/Belgium and just really realised that the thing about having a serious relationship, to open up and go for it and show all of my feeling, was not for me. I tried for 3 years (2009-2012) to get my shit together and I just fell apart too many times. To many broken hart moments in my life and too many assholes around me. For sure. 2012 was great to me. I really felt ok being just me, alone and I could NOT see myself getting into something serious for a loooong time.

But sometimes it just happens. And I'm really sure when I say I haven't met anyone even close to this before. It's just different. Can't really explain what it is. The only words I can find are Respect, Humour and Kindness. And attraction :)

Anyway, I had a lot of shitty guys back in the days that made me think that there are some ways that I should be like. Ways that are totally wrong! I know this, but sometimes I'm just back in old behaviours and I start to freak out. "no one can make me feel like that again", my brain tells me. But I have to start to see that it's ME that is putting myself there. As soon as I talk about it and explain it, I'm just NOT treated like that. I'm not treated like shit anymore.

I have to wake up and see that. Because I don't wanna loose this one.