I have not used my blog for writing about me and my feelings in a long time. It has not been needed. Because, I only need to write when something is wrong. And my life has been good, happy and giving for a long time. But, there will always come hard times, every now and then. Now is one of them. Hard times. Complicated times. Worried times.
I still don't wanna write too much. My integrity has grown more important to me. And the integrity of my closest too.
This thing called relationship. It's not easy. Everyone knows that. It isn't. There isn't a thing called "if you are right for each other then there should not be any problems"
How come, that if you have a friend it's ok to be angry, irritated and annoyed with her/him. But if it's your boyfriend you freak out as soon as that happens. Then you have to step out, push away and break up. Why is that not fixable as easy as a friendship?
I believe in progress. Small steps. Learning from each other. Get to know weaknesses and strong sides of each other. And, sometimes you take steps back again, but you will fall and stand up again and try fix things. Together. If you love someone, you do not give up. Maybe, if you wanna give up, you don't love him/her anymore? If it's not worth some sacrifices, yeah, well, then I do not believe it's love.
Or, maybe people are scared, just scared as hell to take that next step, and they get blind, and leave people behind that they should not. That they will regret leaving behind? Just because they were scared.
I say; Scary shit!
To figure this out, TALK. Always talk to each other. Do not close the other person out. Anything you need to say, say it. Then discuss. Listen. Talk again. Things are very rarely solved after ONE of these talks. It takes time, progress, small steps. Learning from each other.