Temple Wines and Stand Up. Just normal things in my CT life.

Last weekend was great!
Me and Peter went to Temple Wines in Paarl for a night. Temple Wines is owned by a swedish couple and it is a really really great and relaxing spot with perfect service!
After that chillin we went straight to some Stand up and crazyness/mess in Observatory, at Armchair Theatre. That's a sunday tradition now!

R.I.P Micke Carlsson

It's not like you were a very close friend of mine. But I known you since I was a kid. You were in the same school as my brother. I played handball with you sister. I played in your house with her when I was about 11 years old. Later we lived in the same small town, had a lot of friends in common and in 2010 we went to Roskilde Festival together in my fathers old school caravan. You were one of these people I would always stop and talk to, you would always ask "how's your brother?" and you would always have a smile on your face! So many people liked you a lot. I can imagine that the atmosphere in Mjölby right now is very weird. Everyone knew you, more or less, somehow. It's so very sad when someone pass away this young. I can't imagine how it feels for your family and close friends. I never lost anyone young and close. Only old people that you kind of expect they don't have too much time left. This is something different. So unpredictable! Sad. Vila i frid.

Another week.

I have a very busy week. Working 9-19 every day. Lot's to do. Mostly fun things though.
Hanging at the orphanage twice a week while Catherine is running her art project. Having meetings for Home Stay plans for volunteers. Counselling the volunteers, making sure they are happy at their projects! Also, a a lot of writing at the office. Not as fun as the other things. But it has to be done.

 On Saturday I'm going with this weirdo to a B&B in Paarl and I will just CHILL my ass off.
Wine, pool, sun, food. Can't wait.

My Hot Mess. 

Sum it up!

So. I've been here for 6 years now. On and off. Probably spent around 2,5 year here all together. I know some people wonder how, when, where, why.
here is a short summary:

2008: 
I came here in february for a 2 months internship. I was studying social work in Sweden. I was working at the big soup kitchen in town and at a home of safety for teenage boys. At the Soup Kitchen I met John, he was running the soup kitchen at the moment. He is still my friend and he is helping me with placing a lot of the volunteers now, for different projects. I did a home stay in Athlone with an old lady and another swedish girl, Irina, from Stockholm. I spent a lot of time in Ahtlone, Belgravia, Bridgetown and those areas. Hangning out with the people from there. Lots of Braais and home parties. Sometimes Long Street and sometimes Galaxy. I did not go up on Table Mountain.

2009: 
Went back in march for 6 weeks with Rebecca from Gothenburg. Met her in 2008, she was volunteering with the same company as me. We stayed in Belgravia, Athlone, again at the house she stayed in when she was here in 2008. I was helping out in the Soup kitchen again and also went with John to the township in Phumlani. The township I'm still working a lot in!
I did not go up on Table Mountain.

2009/2010: 
I won a trip! I won a volunteer trip for 2 months, including flight ticket, accommodation and food! Crazy. It was through a competition online for a coffee company..
I went in december 2009-february 2010.
I was thinking of going somewhere else, but I did miss South Africa so much and I felt like that was the right thing to do! I stayed in Observatory, in a volunteer house. I shared room with Nina, from Switzerland that today is one of my best and closest friends. We wnt to Brazil together in 2011. I also shared house with Gee, who is still in Cape Town and a really great friend. I was volunteering at the soup kitchen, and also did a lot of my own things with the street kids, like going to the beach etc. Was helping John with a lot of things. This was also the time when I met Dina for the first time. Dina from Umeå that I later started the Volunteer program for Southern Ambition with.
I did not go up on Table Mountain.

2012: 
March:
I got a message from Dina at facebook. Me and Dina had not been talking a lot. But she saw that I posted on facebook that I missed Cape Town. We talked and decided to go back, for 5 weeks in march. We stayed at her friends house in Plumstead. It was a lot of pool hang outs at the house, some nights at long street. Once again I was working a lot with John in Phumlani. I also had about 10 000 rand donation money (from friends and family) with me and with that I fixed toilets, showers and some other things for the shelter John runs in Salt River.
This is when I first met Moses and Southern Ambition. Dina knew them from the last time she was here. We started to randomly talk about starting a volunteer/internship program...
Oh... and me and Dina hiked Table mountain, up AND down :)

September: 
Me, Dina and Moses started to talk about starting a volunteer and internship program via Southern Ambition. Moses asked me to come and work for him, to try six months and see how it would go. So, in one week I quit my job, got rid of my flat and booked a flight to Cape Town. During may - august me and Dina tried to get people interested and to book volunteer trips. Success!

Since then I've been here, except for the 3 months I went home to Sweden in june-aug 2013.

And. This is home. More home than Sweden in many ways. I miss my family a lot. And summer in sweden. But that is like 3 months of the year... So no, I prefer Cape Town.
What I fell in love with here?
* The people. Warm, happy, social, easy going and very friendly.
* The nature. Mountains, ocean, forests and a big city in the middle is for sure the most beautiful mix.
* The Food. All the food tastes amazing here. And it's cheap.
* The children. Of course. All the children and people I'm working with are a big part of my life
* The culture/art life. Music, art, comedy, workshops, you name it. There are things going on all the time.
* African time. Even its VERY irritating sometimes, it's more great things coming out of it than bad. I don't stress anymore. I can relax. It's ok to be a little late. It's ok to not be perfect all the time. It's ok to fuck up. Everything is gonna be ok. Hakuna Matata.
* The weather. I prefer 8 months summer and 4 months winter than the opposite!
* The non superficial way of looking at people. People are crazy. Personal. Different. Everyone I know is VERY different from anyone. But we are still hanging out together. No "groups" at all. Just random. I am always my self here and I love it. No judgemental feelings!

So much fun

Beach. Pool. Friends. Parties. Wine farm. Festival. Social Projects. Sun. Food. Wine. Love. Joy. Happiness. Excitement.

Life is pretty good.


I love my job. Why? Because it's not just my job. It's so much what I love to do. I'm lucky to have a job like that. Here AND in Sweden.

Jealousy

Jealousy. Complicated subject. I will never be really calm around that subject. But I've made big steps in the right directions for sure. Thanks to a lot of things and a big reason is P and his reasonable thoughts and views of things. I need time to progress things. My brain wont let things go, even if I know what's right or wrong. My feelings are always in the way. I'm still scared about some things. Worried. Paranoid. But I know I shouldn't. I KNOW. But rationality has never been my strongest side. But, as I said, I'm learning. I'm getting better at it. Small steps.

I still say though, that jealousy comes from insecurity. Not from trusting or not.

When it comes to real life I'm cool. When it comes to social media etc, not so cool. For some pretty obvious reasons.

And. The truth; I have a very hot boyfriend that lots of girls probably want. Or, I know they do.
My head says; What if one of them is more fun, more smart and more of everything? Nothing to help then... That's how my head thinks sometimes. Silly silly thoughts. But they are still there so I have to deal with them.

And I am allowed to deal with them. For the first time ever. I love him for that.

COMMUNICATION!

FAIL

Haha, so yesterday I had chips. Way too much of it. Also, I couldn't really exercise a lot. My leg hurts. I got a bad cramp on wednesday while swimming. So today I think I will have to take a LONG walk to soften it up. No laziness is allowed. No excuses.

It's finally weekend. But the weekend is full of work anyway. But fun stuff so it's ok. Tomorrow Catherine arrives from Uppsala. She will run an art project at an orphanage. Southern Ambition got a 20 000 rand scholarship for this and we chose her with help from Fryshuset in Stockholm. Im very excited. Also she seems like a very nice person. Right now we have such a nice group of volunteers/Interns here. Everyone is very easy going and they all hang out and have fun together.

I miss a proper phone. Or mostly a phone with a proper camera. I have like NO photos from the last month and it sucks. Pictures are important to me. It's memories saved in the best way. I will have to bring my normal camera more often.

Just saying

I've realised even more this week how much I appreciate him. How good he actually is. How much I actually trust him. He allows me to be me, but he also lets me know when I cross the line and talk to me and let me express my feelings without making me feel like a bad person. He makes me trust myself, something I had big problems with before. Can't even explain how much that means to me. How much I need a person like that in my life. I don't even think he knows how good he is. I have a lot of drama around me at the moment, friends drama, friends problems, not mine. But it really makes me see how lucky I am. And I am so damn happy we got here, grew in this and solved a lot of things that could have messed it all up really bad. But we didn't. We fixed it BEFORE it was too late. That's something new for me. Rationality. Something I'm trying to learn and use in my life more and more. Feelings are good to have and to show, but I need to breathe and count to 10 before I "spit" it out! Im still learning. And he is letting me.. Love him for that.

Simply happy.

Two weeks after we met. I was nervous to hang out with his friends. You know "are they gonna like me?"

Stuff

I WANT THIS! 

Something more important. I'm too lazy to translate everything. But it's about the art project that we are starting next week with the swedish student Catherine. Gonna be awesome!

Fail of the week

So far this week I failed a little bit...

* since friday I had about 100g chocolate (when someone bring swedish chocolate I think that's ok)
* yesterday I had a handful of chips
* still eating way to much carbs. POTATOES are so good!


Good thing: Today I swam 1,1 km in 40 minutes and I really think I can do it faster and also swim 1,5 km soon. Trying to take it slow. But swimming is really my thing! It's also relaxing and a good way of being alone with my thoughts. Some kind of therapy for me!

Today I'm making chicken, tomatoes, pepper, mushrooms, onion and rice for dinner.
Then I'm gonna keep on watching Game of Thrones. I'm on season 3 episode 4 now. Getting better and better! After that I will watch House of Cards.

Well, that was a really boring blog post from me. Haha. Hope you enjoyed.

OK. I will do it. I will fucking blog about my "new life". 

At least in the beginning.
And I don't care if it's boring to read about.
I do write this blog for ME more than for YOU.
I have no self discipline at all, that's why I need to do this. Make it a thing. Write about it. Tell people about it. So I feel like I fail to other people, not just to myself. Then I don't care. SO.

This week;
Sunday : Swam 1km.
Monday: 100 reps of sit ups, push ups and squats. (only 80 push ups)
Tuesday: Swam about 600 m + 15 min core & 100 squats

So from now when I write a post, I will always end it with the exercise of the day.
Maybe I will tell you what I eat to? No... fuck it. That's too boring even for me to write about!

So, I will try to push myself a little harder in 1-2 weeks. This is not hard enough. But I have been lazy and unhealthy for almost 2 years now, so I need to be nice to myself and not rush in to this.

If I could look a little bit more like this in 6 months from now, I will be glad.
This is almost 2 years ago.

New rules

So. I decided to start living a LITTLE bit healthier from now on.
These are my small rules (rules CAN be broken, but I will try not to) :

* As little sugar as possible.
* At least 30 minutes of any kind of activity every day. Walk, run, swim, muscle training etc etc
* Cook more food at home. Less carbs, more salad and fish/chicken.
* Alcohol MAX 2 times / week. ( I know it sounds silly for you people back home in sweden. BUT it's actually something I need to think of here. The social "going out" life is so much more normal here. Sometimes I'm out 4 times in one week. But from now it will be without alcohol some times!)
* smoke less! Much less!

That's it. I will still eat whatever I want, some times, and I will drink, and I wont spend hours at a gym. I will still have my life, the life I want, but a LITTLE bit healthier. It's time!

Then I hope soccer will start next week, as they told me! Then I'm happy!

Life is supposed to be fun

No. Life is not SUPPOSED to be hard. It's supposed to be fun, beautiful, lovely. I think people that have a chance to make their life all of this, should. I can not accept people complaining about their boring life and their boring job and their boring city, and then they don't try to change it.

Think about all the people in this world that has NO chance to follow their dreams. That are stuck in their lives. They have no option. I think everyone complaining about their life and not trying to change it when they actually CAN, should feel ashamed and ungrateful.

I refuse to work just to make money. I refuse to have a job I hate. I refuse to go to a gym just to be healthy and look good. I refuse to read a book or watch a movie because I "should". I refuse to learn new things if I don't want to or have to, just because society thinks I "should" know it. I refuse to do anything that I don't like, if I don't HAVE to. And when would I really have to?  Life is too short to waste on things that are not making me happy.

I am lucky. Lucky that I can chose. I have a choice. And I've decided to be thankful and make the best out of that. To be as happy as I can be. If I'm gonna be healthy I'm gonna find a FUN way of doing that. Not spending even ONE hour of the day doing something boring, if I don't have to.

And I refuse to do what society think everyone should do. I don't give a shit I'm turning 30 this year and I don't even have my own place, I don't have kids, I don't have a work permit in the country I'm living. I'm kind of "floating" around. And I love it! I'm around friends that I love. I live in a beautiful country. I see my friends and family in Sweden every year. I'm happy here.

Please, enjoy your life to the fullest, think about those who can't and do it for them! Appreciate what you have! Live YOUR life and no one else's!

And every now and then, try to do something for someone else. Volunteer one day. Donate old clothes. Give away some food to that guy outside your house looking for food in the garbage. It's easy. Appreciate what you have.

Projects

I feel like I have only been writing about me and what's going on in my head the last weeks. Well, it's been some emotional weeks, so I guess it makes sense.

But here are some exciting things that's going on in my work life:

Photo project in Phumlani:
Today I will go with two of our swedish volunteers to the township Phumlani with a photographer/videographer team from Italy. They are gonna run a long term project with the youth of the community and other townships in South Africa. They will spend 3 years in South Africa for this. The whole thing is based on teaching the youth how to use a camera and then the photos are gonna be based on a child's perspective. So all the photos that is gonna be in the book they make will be taken by the youth. They are amazing, check them out HERE. I am very excited about this. I've been working with the kids in Phumlani the last six years and I love to see them grow, as individuals.

Canvas Art Project:
Catherine, a student from Sweden, is coming here in february to run an art project in a orphanage in Khayelitsha. It's to empower teen girls. More info will come later, but Catherine is very excited about this and with her enthusiasm I'm sure this will be really cool! Here is the BLOG she is gonna write during the project.

The 8th of february we are having another township day again. I am trying to have something at least once a month for the kids out there. (the same kids that are having the photo project)

Much Love.

Inspiration

Billiga hotell Malmö hittar du hos oss! Välj mellan lågprishotell och riktigt lyxrum.

Vote for me here. This is gonna inspire me to update more, to write more and more detailed about me & my life in South Africa. I have been lazy the last months. But I'm back now! So, vote for me?! THANKS!

2014

Cape Town.
Sweden.
Croatia.
Denmark.
Cape Town again.

Great plans.

This is a good year, I really believe that. But it's most because I have made a choice to make it a good year! Changes are good, when it's good changes.

And by the way, I really love him and am so glad that we talked things through and got to another place in this relationship. I feel relieved. And loved. And appreciated. And most of all; I have fun! He makes me laugh, a lot. 

Better!

no, I'm not gonna blog about my training and my food, I've tried that before and it's just not for me.

BUT I wanna mention that the last days I've been eating good food, had basically NO sugar and no "bad" stuff (aka no chips or other snacks) and I have been doing some stuff like basic muscle training at home and went to swim for 30 minutes today.
I will really try to keep this, make it a part of my everyday life. Nothing big and nothing too serious. Next week I will also start playing soccer again! The season will start in february so it's perfect timing. Feel inspired.

Otherwise. Still lots of work. But it's my favourite months in Cape Town now. January - April are great! Matilda is also coming back to visit and hopefully Johanna will come too. On the top of that Karina is coming back to do some work with Southern Ambition for 2 months. AWESOME I say.

Beach day tomorrow. Hard work. NOT. Haha. (taking two new Interns to have breakfast in town and then hitting Clifton) After that 2 meetings, so yes I will actually work... :)

Laters.

(there is so many things I wanna write about when it comes to politics and racism in Sweden. I am pissed... But I am too tired to write. Maybe tomorrow. )

Work is work

January is a crazy month. So much work. But I like it. It's challenging again. I learn. I sweat and swear and go crazy sometimes. But it's worth it. In the end. When I get all the forms from the volunteers/interns that are back in Sweden and they say they loved their stay here and that Southern Ambition is a great company to travel with. Feels good.

My goal in 2012 was to find a way to go here and get to stay here. It's done. Almost.
Next step; getting a work permit.
When that is done; getting involved in some kind of NGO, maybe start my own one together with someone. I've promised myself to be there before 2016. I will.

I have so many plans for this year that feels great. Can't tell about all of them. But Sweden and Croatia is already for sure! More to come... I'll let you know.. Soon.

I AM EXCITED again. I'm back on track.

Me and my friends

Patrick. Mumz. Me. Peter. Stu. Que.
A random saturday in november with tequilas way too early in the morning.

Time to wake up again

Been away for a while. Unlike a few years ago I don't want, or need, to share everything here. I don't need people to know how I feel. Cause these days I can actually TELL my friends how I feel. Something I had a huge problem with, for years. These days it's easier. It's still hard, but I'm trying. And it's probably easier also because I met people the last 2-3 years that understands me more, that I feel like I "click" with and can open up to.

It's been a shitty last month. In many ways. So much stress, a broken heart (that I really hope is gonna be good again, we'll see, small steps) and I've actually been a little homesick.

About homesickness. I miss people. I think I wanna go back. But as soon as I think about actually living in Sweden, work, have a normal life there, I know it's not for me. I just miss people. I wont say I didn't need or appreciate my family before. But I've been getting closer to them the last years, so I miss them more because they have become a bigger part of my life.

I also want things to be good again. Yes with P. I really want that. Just need to figure out how. And if it's possible. I always told myself to follow my heart. I still think it's the right way. The way that makes my heart less hurt, is the way I need to go. And I love him. And I respect him. And I appreciate him so much. I never ever met anyone that great and understanding as him. Now it's a lot up to me to make sure it stays like that, from both sides.

So I just shared a lot here anyway, I see. Haha.

I am ok though. I'm just struggling with a lot of thoughts and feelings at the moment. What I want. What I need. Just need time.

Empty

I can't even explain how I feel. Because I don't know. I feel empty and sad. I have no words. I know it might gonna turn out ok. It's not definitive. But at this moment, right now, I'm just sad and.... EMPTY. But I also wanna take this time and think and see where it's gonna take me. Take us.

I don't feel like doing anything at all. But I also don't wanna sit at home.

All I want for christmas is you.

Lite sådär.

Since you've been gone I can do whatever I want.

But...

I need to calm down again

I need to get back to that mind I had the last 1,5 year. I know I can do it. It just been 2 stressful months. And I admit it, I'm not good with stress. I'm so sorry for all the people that has been affected. I did not mean it. And I will do everything to get back on track now. Thats's a promise to myself and to all of you around me.

Soon its christmas and we are closing the office for 2 weeks. Oh how I need that vacation!

Nelson Mandela 1918-2013

My father telling me about Nelson Mandela when I was a kid made me to always have South Africa as my number 1 country that I wanted to visit.

15 years later I went here. And I didn't leave.

I could never guess that this country would be my home one day. I feel home here, and today I feel very proud to be living in a country that had one of the absolutely best persons ever as a leader.

I will always love this rainbow nation.
If everyone could be a little bit more like Nelson Mandela this world would be a better place to live in.

Rest in Peace Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela

Man the F Up: Sivuyile "Siv" Ngesi at TEDxTableMountain

A friend of mine, Siv Ngesi, is having a serious talk about the rape problem in South Africa.
Man the F up! 

Listen. I got goosebumps...

2013

I think this year has been the most changing and nice year in my life so far. I think I never had a year when I was actually happy all year long. Yes, 3 months in Sweden away from Peter was hard, but also very needed and in the end I can see that it was only good for us. In so many ways. I also had a lot of stress at work, but never in a way that made me sad. Just frustrated. I really got to realise how much my family means to me and I had some moments with my closest friends that really changed my mind. I think this year was that year of relief. I feel relieved. I feel calm. I feel that I'm finally really myself. And I appreciate that and understand that I am good enough. And I'm so damn happy for all the friends that I have today!

I really think that it's true:
I came here to change Cape Town, but Cape Town changed me. 

I have some people back in Sweden that I want to come here. I know it would do good to them, in a lot of ways! This city is really a mind opener. Mostly because it's so ok to be who ever you are and no one is really judging, at all. I think a lot of people back home in Sweden could need to feel that for a while. 

African time.

Today African Time is stressing me OUT!!!! Gosh. How hard is it to plan, organise and stick with it? Seriously.

It's really nice to not have to stress all the time and that it's ok to be a little late and to be able to let people know last minute that you wont come to the party you are invited to (because I'm actually tired). It's nice to be able to over sleep but still have time to shower and eat breakfast. It's nice to just let things be for a day and you know you can fix it tomorrow.

BUT when it comes to work and professionalism it's really annoying and not helping any business at all! Why is it so hard to organise things here in time, and BEFORE things are about to happen? It's more stressing than to have a lot of planning to do... Because when you have planned it all, you can just let it go and do the next thing. You wont have 1000 things to do at the same time.

Well, I guess I have to get along with it or move back home. And we all know I don't want that ;)

I'll never let you go

I'm just a little sentimental. Nothing too bad. I just realise that I have something really good. That I really don't wanna lose. Ever.

Silly me

Ok. Enough. I will stop it now! It's been years. I should have learned by now!

Family.

I normally don't get home sick. It might sound bad. But it's just something about me, I like to be away from home. Even when I was a kid I loved to go away, sleep over at friends places or at my grandmothers place. Whenever there was soccer camps I was more than happy. Might sound like I wasn't happy at home. It wasn't about that. I just really love the feeling of "being on the road". Like this summer when I walked for days to protest about refugee politics in Sweden. We were like 30 people just walking and sleeping at different places every night. Hanging out, chilling and then you bring out your sleeping bag and sleep where ever there is space. It's a little bit like living in a bubble and escape from reality. No "musts" or real rules. It's freedom for me.

Today tho, I miss home. But it's actually more the people that I miss. I guess it has to do with that Matilda been here and she just left. Someone that really knows me was here. It's really relieving to be able to talk to someone and I just have to say three words and she knows exactly what I'm saying. Also this summer was so great in Sweden. I miss the light summer nights. To be able to walk alone in the middle of the night. To not feel like I have to look over my shoulder all the time.

Today I miss my family a lot. I spent a lot of time with them this summer. More than usually. Guess it's that thing called growing up and appreciate things in another way ;) I miss Othilia, she is getting bigger and bigger and it's a shame I miss out on that. I miss my father and my mother. You know, to just go there, hang out at their place, eat food. Just be myself and no need of talk. Just the feeling of being around people you love.

Last year my father came here for christmas. This year it wont be anyone here. I will trust my other family (all awesome friends here) to take care of me. I hope it wont feel way to bad.

But I think this is just for today. I normally don't get homesick. And it's summer here. Soon real winter in Sweden. So I feel okay. I'm good. Just missing some of the loved ones..

Not a good day.

Today is not a good day. Matilda left to go back to Sweden.
And....
... I feel fat and unhealthy.

Just a day like that. I will be ok tomorrow.

BUT I should really start to do something about myself. Talking about my health. My weight. My smoking. My bad living. Seriously. I eat and drink too much. Exercise way too little (like NOTHING) and smoke way too much. Problem is. I have nothing that motivates me. I like food. I like my Hunters Dry and I really don't enjoy to exercise. If it's not football. And I really love a cigaret to my wine ;) lol.

WHAT TO DO?

I have no idea. Start with the smoking part maybe? Should I give it a try? Should I? Do I want too? I only know that I SHOULD. Damn it.

Maybe I should start swimming. Summer is here. There is a pool in Observatory. Its 6 rand to get in. SIX.. That's like 4 swedish kronor. Silly cheap.

Well. I'm not starting today. That I know.

Arcade Fire - Here Comes the Night Time

Im gonna have to be a nerd for a while now.
THIS IS FUCKING GREAT!
Funny as shit and GREAT music.

Arcade Fire is doing it. Again. Always. Love it!

This town.

I was here the first time in february 2008. Since then my love for this town just grows and grows..

Great Saturday.

Pre party at the train. Then 12 hours out door party at the first real summer day! And yeah, as always, great company!

Just dance!

Some blurry pics from last night. Peter forcing me to dance. Just me and him in front of a LOT of people. Just like that. Haha, I love him for doing stuff like this to me and making me realize it's fine.

Important

Varje år flyr tusentals barn till Sverige från förföljelse, förtryck, krig, fattigdom, våld och övergrepp. Väl här får många av barnen fortsatt sina rättigheter kränkta. Barn på flykt måste få sina rättigheter tillgodosedda. Skriv under för att göra barnkonventionen till svensk lag på: unicef.se/flykt 

Every year thousands of children are fleeing to Sweden from persecution, oppression, war, poverty, violence and abuse. Once here, many of the children continued to get their rights violated. Kids on the run must have their rights respected. Log in to make the children rights convention to Swedish law on: unicef.se/flykt

Finally!

I've tried to make this happen for 6 months. Finally it's happening! As my birthday party! It's gonna be great. Peter will host and Gee will run the karaoke at the afterparty. I have some good friends here...

MATILDA!

Friday 11.40 am. That's when Matilda is landing at CT airport! YEY!

Some things

Just some things that are different here compared to Sweden:

* MILK. The milk tastes like cream here. Why? What do we do with our milk in Sweden? Here it's like drinking low fat cream. Uuuuuuuh, not nice.

* SUPERMARKETS. The space to put your groceries on is super small. The cashier will also help you pack your bags (sometimes it's an extra person that does that for you tho). The space after the cashier is even smaller so while the bags are getting packed the next person behind you can't really do anything else than wait. (I mean, if the space was bigger AND I packed my bags myself, the next person could just go on as soon as I payed) The lines are LONG. Also if there is something that they can't see a price on or something else is wrong, another person has to come and help with that, the cashier is not allowed. Lines are getting LONGER.

* CROSSING PLACES. So you press that button to get the green light so you can cross the street. Yes it's getting green. For about 5 seconds. You have to run and even if you run you might not get to the other side in time. I don't know how old people are supposed to do it. I just look at the lights for the cars and cross when they still have red lights.

* ELECTRICITY. You buy it. Like, you have a code for you electricity box. Say that code, pay and get another code that you have to type in when you are back home. It's easy to forget and then you are in a DARK house and have to run somewhere to buy it.. One good thing with that is that you don't over use and get a terrible bill in the end of the month.

* DRINK and DRIVE. Not everyone, but a LOT of people drink and drive. Might not be pissed drunk, but they still drive after a bottle of wine or 5 beers. I know it's the same in south of europe. But still, VERY different from Sweden.

* PRICES OF ALCOHOL. Also different everywhere outside Sweden/Norway. But still. So a glass of whine is R20 (15 kr) here. It is at least R50 in Sweden. Or more. A Shot is like R10-30! Crazy. And dangerous. But I don't complain :)

* PEOPLE. Wherever you go people say "hi" and with a "hi" it's more a "how are you?". If you sit in a train you can talk to the person next to you if you want to, even if you don't know the person. It's not like you have to, but you CAN without getting a look that says "leave me alone". You meet people everywhere that actually can become your friends very soon. It doesn't take weeks or months to get to know people. People open up and share and wanna hang out again and again and again. Most of all you don't have to fit in to a special group of people. If the people isn't Hipsters, of course. HAHA! No, but seriously. I know that there are people like this in Sweden too, but I find it much harder to meet them. I find it much harder to be weird and crazy without getting judged in Sweden. Jantelagen (google it you english speaking people) are still a big thing in Sweden even if we don't wanna admit it. We are supposed to not stick out, to not be too much and also to not be too less. LAGOM (google that too). But I think its changing a lot since Sweden becomes more and more multi cultural. That's nice! I do have hope ;)

Well that's enough for this time. Next time I will bring up more positive sides. This may sound a little complaining. It's not. It's just facts. Facts that I've learned to live with and also love at the same time as it drives me crazy sometimes (especially the supermarkets. It takes like 20 minutes to go in and buy one packet of butter)

October

Been here more than a month already. Also feels like years ago since I was in Sweden. Weird feelings. Story of my life! But a good story.

Matilda is coming here next week! I'm so excited. I really miss to have close friends to hang out with. People that really knows me. The hard thing here is to find friends that will stay long enough to really get close to. The cool people I meet here are almost always people that are here just for a while. And also, I know I'm a little weird and hard to understand so for me it's a little hard to find friends that really becomes close. I am picky since I know that people that don't get me will get tired of me. And I get disappointed. Also story of my life, being scared of being left. I'm working on it. I just try too hard sometimes to not let people too close so it wont suck if I loose them. I need to start trust people and trust that I'm good enough to keep as a friend! ALmost all my friends here are guys. And yeah, I prefer that. Much less drama and less complicated. But they might not get THAT close... It's more random hang outs.

Sad:
Karina left for Germany.
Gee is a very busy woman.
Hanna Fink went back to Germany

BUT:
Malin is coming back for at least 3 months
Elin is coming back for a long time
Matilda will spend a month with me
Dina is coming here over christmas